The real trouble was that nobody could spell “super saving shipping” while they were drunk Amazon.com has called off plans to sell wine online. Citing too many complex regulatory hurdles, one supplier that had been in talks with Amazon complained, “it is probably easier to deal in guns and drugs than in wine.”

So, please let us charge less… er, more… er, what was I saying again? According to the British Beer and Pub Association, alcohol consumption in Britain is falling faster than it has in more than 50 years. “Citing the academic theories put forward in the Government’s ‘Sheffield Study’ – which concluded that price increases would lead to a decline in consumption, and then a decline in alcohol-related health problems such as hospital admissions – the BBPA said the 6% fall in alcohol consumption between 2004 and 2008 should have resulted in 20,000 fewer alcohol-related hospital admissions in 2008, but hospitals were still reporting rising admissions.”

Meanwhile, in other UK news Police in Cardiff have been given the power to confiscate alcohol from people consuming it in public…

The Daily Mail bust a gasket over an intoxicated student pissing on a war memorial…

Newcastle police have started to force drunken young women to clean up the mess they make in the streets when they, uh, make a mess in the streets…

Violent crimes by women in Britain have risen by 80% in the last 10 years. “British women on average are now drinking twice the amount of their foreign counterparts. Figures show more than 12,500 women were convicted for violence in 2007, compared with just under 7,000 in 1998. Violence is now the most common reason for women being arrested in England and Wales, and many experts blame binge-drinking for the rise.”

…and Jackie Slater, “the wrong side of 50″, was refused service at a checkout in a Morrison’s Supermarket in Leeds when she attempted to purchase wine while accompanied by two teenaged family members.

Goddammit, Paris, stop calling me ‘Tinkerbell’ “Paris Hilton and current throw-cushion Doug Reinhardt, started out Halloween night sporting goofy, matching tooth-fairy outfits at a bash thrown by “Project Runway” glamour girl Heidi Klum and her singer-husband, Seal, in West Hollywood. The party-hearty heirhead and her boyfriend du jour
were [later] spotted in a boozy grapple — with him
reaching from the back of their limo to put his hand around her throat
in a move that stunned even jaded Sunset Boulevard denizens. ‘It got very physical. The limo driver was horrified!’ a witness breathlessly reported.’ ”

Extra! A poke in the eye is slightly better than a kick in the balls! The Sun reports that according to Statistics Canada’s 2008 Canadian Community Health Survey, Edmonton rates as the 14th healthiest Canadian city; with Calgary rating #7. “And binge drinking was also a popular pastime in Edmonton, scraping just below the national average (16.6%) of those who reported downing five or more drinks on more than one occasion per month over the last year while surpassing Calgary (15.5%).” 

ShareThis