The Alchemy of Love – 2010
The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances;
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
-Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961)
I am not an alchemist, but I do know a thing or two about the transformative powers of romance. I know that when we fall in love, for example, the world sways in ecstasy at our feet. We kiss all night. We float on air. We grow wings. We soar.
The medieval notion of alchemy (transforming base metals into gold) was used as a metaphor by Swiss psychologist Carl Gustav Jung. He described alchemy as a method of self transformation whereby the alchemist fuses the opposite elements within herself (i.e. conscious / unconscious) and achieves wholeness. Imagine the passion that flowed between Jung and his mistress Toni Wolf, who he believed was not only his psychological amanuensis, but also his spiritual muse, the anima of his animus.
From the lavish Greek culture that raised pleasure to epicurean heights, to the thousands of myths, poems, books, songs, operas and legends that have followed, almost every Zoomer knows what the fiery-flush of infatuation feels like.
Of course, this begs the question: Is there such a thing as too much love? The twentieth-century British poet W.H. Auden compared love to: “an intolerable neural itch.” And, anyone who has weathered the all-consuming storm of infatuation will recognize its signs: the heady euphoria; the lingering torment; the sleepless nights awash in a whirlwind of ecstasy – or anguish. We long for our next rendezvous with him or her. When we are together we whisper silly things. We talk all night. We caress. We fight. We make-up.We kiss.
“What of soul was left, I wonder, when the kissing had to stop?” reflected the nineteenth-century poet Robert Browning in A Toccata of Galuppi’s.
But does it have to stop?
Not according to a modern-day “alchemist” friend called NIkki, who, in her most timely fashion sent me (via her BlackBerry) a “what’s on the relationship docket” for 2010. Most of us have heard the gloom and doom reports of increased divorces. But not from Psychic Nikki who holds that the happiest couples are those that who generate positive emotions in their partnership. She focuses on cultivating a mind/body awareness. Here she shares (in quotations} her relationship trends for the up-coming year.
HELLO, I LOVE YOU
“Men and women over 45 who are craving love and affection will, in 2010, invest more of their time in romantic courtship.”I cannot overemphasize the importance of courtship – especially for women. The smile is the most recognizable and communicable gesture in the world. Smiles guide our fantasies. They connect us. The “open smile” is probably the most enticing human courting stratagem.
BABY LOVE
“Women over forty-five will want to have children.” Just touching or kissing a baby can cause oxytocin to surge, inspiring some women to want have another baby to nuzzle, thereby restoring her sense of well-being. This urge is understandable – as children grow up, parental cuddling lessens, and many women find themselves suffering from a oxytocin withdrawal.
MY GUY
“2010 will see the expansion of the Cher and Madonna syndrome of older women with younger men.”Not every pair of lovers is matched in age. And it’s hard to imagine, but some women (and men) are involved with partners who are young enough to be their progeny. This, of course, does not mean that these encounters are fleeting or lacking in depth. We must acknowledge, they can be dangerous, powerful, forbidden – and, perhaps, exactly what we wanted.
HOT STUFF
“Zoomers will take a more creative approach in their sexual outlook in 2010.” Well, that’s good news…According to psychologists, the happiest lovers engage in three types of sexual activity: sweet, tender kiss-embraces or “comfort sex,” sensational lovemaking sessions, and “quickies.” Variety is not only the spice of life, it is the main ingredient for a sustained relationship.
CHAPEL OF LOVE
“2010 will see many men in their 50s and 60s and even 70s tying the knot.”The payoff of marriage is great: better health, more fun, better sex, more growth, longer life…
MIDNIGHT ON THE OASIS
“I foresee couples taking more hedonistic vacations together”.Whether we see it in ourselves or not, we all possess the power to seduce. We are all great Don Juan’s and Juanita’s at heart. When is the best time to stage a seduction? Partners are generally more relaxed when they are on vacation – when they have some retreat distance from the office.
WHOLE LOTTA LOVE
“I feel that couples in long-term relationships will share a deeper initimacy in 2010. (Even though there will be divorces in La La Land.)” Kissing is a temptation and an invitation at once. Sweeter than ice-wine, a romantic kiss promises special favours. It can inspire passion as well as advance love. It can make the mind sparkle, the body glow. Kissing an exquisite aphrodisiac because it makes you feel so marvellously desired. It’s love’s magic potion.
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