You won’t believe this but I’ve just received an important e-mail from my old friend Santa Claus at the North Pole.

Santa Claus an old friend of mine? He sure is. I’ll tell you
that story and then I’ll let you in on his e-mail. It’s a message I’m
supposed to pass on to all those politicians and big-brained people
over there in Copenhagen fussing about Global Warming.

Meeting Santa Claus: back in the early 1970’s (almost 40 years
ago) I was part of a Canadian Reserve Air Force squadron flying single
engine transport aircraft out of the Downsview base in Toronto.
Actually, I was the Honorary Colonel of the Squadron and I was a fully
qualified as captain pilot on the big Otter which was a transport
aircraft that could carry eight people. It had a huge engine and some
were equipped with wheels/skis.

Those skis for use on snow were the ticket to Santa Claus and his Village at the North Pole!

The then Chief of the Defence Staff (CDS), a great pilot,
General Freddie Sharp, had been trying to reach Santa to ask him to
make sure he didn’t miss the kids of the thousands of Canada’s soldiers
and airmen then based in Germany. They were part of NATO’s force facing
the Cold War threat from the Soviet Union.

But the CDS couldn’t reach Santa by radio. (This was before
computers existed). The CDS’s staff figured out that Santa’s radio
batteries were dead.

The General knew I was taking part in flying two of our
Squadron Otters up into the High Arctic and had personally authorized
the operation called “Flight North of the Ancient Bird”. I was the
Ancient Bird, and still am.

It was mid-summer of ‘73 when we flew the operation. The CDS
had telephoned and asked me to deliver two sets of radio batteries to
Santa Claus. He said, “I know you’re taking the Otters as far north as
Eureka on Ellesmere Island. That’s about three hours flying from the
North Pole. You’ll have skis on your machines. I want you to take one
of your Otters and fly those batteries in!”

The Flight North operation was a great success. We flew the
two aircraft in loose formation from Churchill, Manitoba north to Baker
Lake, then Shepherd’s Bay (a DEW Line radar station), then Resolute Bay
and finally to Eureka way at the top of Ellesmere Island (You can find
it on most maps). It took several days to get there.

Then it became Operation Santa Claus for my co-pilot Captain Serge Holoduke and myself.

Off we went from Eureka with the radio batteries on board and
two forty-five gallon drums of extra fuel. We headed out directly
toward the distant North Pole. Soon we were over the ice covered Arctic
Ocean glittering white in the early morning sun that never sets up
there during the summer. It shines with full heat twenty-four hours a
day.

As we approached Santa’s Village, we could see it miles
ahead. First a dark spot on the horizon, then a full community of
houses and toy factories as we zoomed overhead. By the time we landed
with our skis on the snow there were scores of elves waiting for us.
And Santa Claus looking wonderful in his red regalia and his long white
beard!

Serge and I had a warm welcome from Santa who was delighted to have the batteries and the message of the CDS.

He gave us a full tour of his Village and the workshops where his happy elves were busy making Christmas.

Then Serge and I flew back to Eureka to get ready to fly back to Churchill.

That was such a long time ago!

These days Santa Claus has an up-to-the-minute computer and
regularly sends me e-mails. I have aged considerably, but he hasn’t.

This e-mail came in to me on the weekend:

“Dear
Richard: Please communicate this to the unreachable Copenhagen
Conference people who think that climate change is caused by Mankind.
It isn’t.

“My Village at the North Pole will have to soon be moved
to land because the ice is melting heavily in the summer months. The
melting is caused by the sun’s increased heat which is caused not by
carbon in the atmosphere (carbon doesn’t create heat and really can’t
trap it) but because the earth is suddenly spinning on a track that has
moved it closer to the sun. The changed spin is caused by weight shifts
of earthquakes and tsunamis.

“The Copenhagen gang don’t get it!”

I’ll see your kids on Christmas Eve.

Affectionately,

Santa

“P.S. I may need help moving my Village to Ellesmere.” 

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