How do you know if your partner is being honest with you?

This is a very interesting question, and one that implies doubt. Of course, asking if?your partner is honest is also like asking ?if they may be telling you an untruth. That said, there is an intuitive exercise I teach my students to discern fact from fiction.

Your body will tell you quickly if something is true or false. Close your eyes and tell yourself an obvious fact about something. Scan your body and see how it feels in your solar plexus, your breathing, notice how “just true” truth feels. You should feel relaxed and comfortable and your breathing soft. Then do the same thing when ?you tell yourself a lie. Your chest will ?tighten, your sense of the world less relaxed, you will feel as if you’re scanning outside of yourself, not quite hitting the mark. You should feel noticeably different in comparison.

So the same goes with how you feel when your partner tells you something. There is truth in the idea that you can “just tell.” That said, if you’re suspicious by nature or you’re looking for a reason for your partner to lie, there is something else going on. It’s possible that you’ve experienced someone lying to you in the past and your partner’s behaviour reminds you of that. Maybe you are triggered by what they say. You may be stuck in the past in which case you’re not really in a current dialogue with your partner. You may be responding through a past hurt, which may have little or no bearing on the present situation. Your emotions of either trust or suspicion may be anchored in a past that isn’t “now”.

So it’s a complex question that no one answer will serve adequately. My opinion? In order to be in a relationship of value or integrity, mutual respect, trust and truth should always be non-negotiable. That’s how you tell if your partner is being honest. You should expect it.

Colette Baron-Reid is an internationally respected intuitive counselor, motivational speaker and author.

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